Armfemsas is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring newt.

Armfemsas created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Armfemsas, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Armfemsas, she will make you grow a tail.

Armfemsas' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Armfemsas' Holy Commandments

1. Put Armfemsas first in all things.

2. Never chant in the presence of squirrels.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.