Jatstikmin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited jellyfish.

Jatstikmin created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Jatstikmin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jatstikmin, he will not care at all.

Jatstikmin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jatstikmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near birds while wearing green dresses.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Jatstikmin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never look in ponds.