Yarlgomrul is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast badger.

Yarlgomrul created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlgomrul, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarlgomrul, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarlgomrul's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yarlgomrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing fawn shirts and balancing five zinc spheres on your head.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Yarlgomrul in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.