Garsadhog is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent dugong.

Garsadhog created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garsadhog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Garsadhog, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Garsadhog's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Garsadhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of elders.

2. Retreat if nine badgers approach from the west.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.