Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonest ferret.

Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gatcemjon Megnakflaphandissad.