Fetbassciss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited clam.

Fetbassciss created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Fetbassciss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fetbassciss, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fetbassciss' most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fetbassciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Always look after injured moths.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.