Pintofgudvig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, blissful crab.

Pintofgudvig created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pintofgudvig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pintofgudvig, she will turn you into a slug.

Pintofgudvig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Pintofgudvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always obey Pintofgudvig's priests.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Fast once a month.