Cudgatzan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Cudgatzan created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cudgatzan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cudgatzan, she will manifest in front of you.

Cudgatzan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cudgatzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always stare at clouds.