Hamtonkjadnellpak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, intelligent raven.

Hamtonkjadnellpak created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtonkjadnellpak, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hamtonkjadnellpak, he will try to impress you with trees.

Hamtonkjadnellpak's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hamtonkjadnellpak's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.