Teenlikflan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate dolphin.

Teenlikflan created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenlikflan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Teenlikflan, she will turn you into a plant.

Teenlikflan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Teenlikflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Put Teenlikflan first in all things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.