Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, emotional chicken.

Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud created the solar system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud, he will turn you into a rock.

Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near birds while wearing magenta hats.

4. Put Dumtitdamgepvabhaknargud first in all things.

5. Never feed lots of peas to rats while wearing turquoise shorts.