Omttunbetnab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring cow.

Omttunbetnab created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Omttunbetnab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Omttunbetnab, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Omttunbetnab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Omttunbetnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never eat bark.