Fatjopflis Cunbepbell is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying shrew.

Fatjopflis Cunbepbell created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fatjopflis Cunbepbell, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fatjopflis Cunbepbell, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fatjopflis Cunbepbell's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Fatjopflis Cunbepbell's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing brown dresses and balancing three lead spheres on your hands.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Do not kill manatees.