Padflattar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring shark.

Padflattar created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padflattar, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Padflattar, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Padflattar's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Padflattar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green kilts.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not chop down trees.