Jipnuttwad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair hummingbird.

Jipnuttwad created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipnuttwad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jipnuttwad, it will send you a sign.

Jipnuttwad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jipnuttwad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed tomatoes to shrews while wearing white skirts.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never paint your hands purple.