Jopnutrul is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able donkey.

Jopnutrul created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopnutrul, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jopnutrul, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jopnutrul's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jopnutrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help gulls.