Janfunyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, wise crocodile.

Janfunyarp created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Janfunyarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Janfunyarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Janfunyarp's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Janfunyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Janfunyarp loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never chant in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not eat pineapples.