Kamortcam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, self-assured bear.

Kamortcam created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamortcam, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kamortcam, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kamortcam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kamortcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think about gravity near whales while wearing violet hats and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.