Spagbutvag Jadvol is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent faun.

Spagbutvag Jadvol created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Spagbutvag Jadvol, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Spagbutvag Jadvol, she will destroy your home planet.

Spagbutvag Jadvol's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Spagbutvag Jadvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Run away from purple monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.