Cumbatmat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonourable hummingbird.

Cumbatmat created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumbatmat, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cumbatmat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cumbatmat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cumbatmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not hurt nematodes.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Do not eat lemons.