Janaffitdodxenrap is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy gorilla.

Janaffitdodxenrap created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janaffitdodxenrap, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Janaffitdodxenrap, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Janaffitdodxenrap's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Janaffitdodxenrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the west.