Tonkcadfot is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous faun.

Tonkcadfot created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcadfot, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonkcadfot, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tonkcadfot's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tonkcadfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Worship no other gods but Tonkcadfot.