Japfombim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic raccoon.

Japfombim created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Japfombim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Japfombim, he will turn you into a mole.

Japfombim's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Japfombim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine silver sculptures of Japfombim on top of important buildings.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.