Bablarnrak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable hamster.

Bablarnrak created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bablarnrak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bablarnrak, she will cry a lot.

Bablarnrak's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bablarnrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Feed all hungry squirrels.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never talk about spacetime near monkeys while wearing fawn dresses and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.