Kanartleg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, stupid crocodile.

Kanartleg created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanartleg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kanartleg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kanartleg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kanartleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Never paint your legs green.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat bark.