Caddibyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic hummingbird.

Caddibyarp created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Caddibyarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Caddibyarp, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Caddibyarp's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Caddibyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near doves while wearing cyan stockings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Never write about moons.