Cissvengun is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, kind porpoise.

Cissvengun created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cissvengun, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cissvengun, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Cissvengun's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Cissvengun's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Badgers are not to be trusted.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Run away from fawn ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Retreat if four shrews approach from the west.