Sanzantad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, irritating raccoon.

Sanzantad created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanzantad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sanzantad, she will be very sad.

Sanzantad's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sanzantad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not hurt otters.

5. You must love Sanzantad.