Yarlshavced is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, annoying crocodile.

Yarlshavced created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Yarlshavced, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarlshavced, she will not care at all.

Yarlshavced's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yarlshavced's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yarlshavced on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Hide if eight manatees approach from the north.