Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, uncaring jellyfish.

Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag, it will turn you into a rock.

Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Mitlakmot Kipzantun Bambag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to hamsters while wearing white coats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.