Zencussvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous porpoise.

Zencussvonk created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Zencussvonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zencussvonk, he will throw large rocks at you.

Zencussvonk's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Zencussvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zencussvonk first in all things.

2. Hide from purple bats for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.