Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, staggering swan.

Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tapwitbess Jipjopdid Jabpancib's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Hide from white cats for they are unholy.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.