Bafquamciss is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless squirrel.

Bafquamciss created the Sunflower Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafquamciss, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bafquamciss, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bafquamciss' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bafquamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about spacetime near whales while wearing pink coats and balancing six platinum spheres on your hands.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.