Quimnegcap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous human.

Quimnegcap created an atom seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimnegcap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quimnegcap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quimnegcap's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quimnegcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to sheep while wearing red dresses.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear brown tights.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.