Tipgamtip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, staggering toad.

Tipgamtip created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipgamtip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tipgamtip, she will make you grow a tail.

Tipgamtip's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tipgamtip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Always obey Tipgamtip's priests.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.