Bonlarnpog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, tranquil warg.

Bonlarnpog created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bonlarnpog, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bonlarnpog, she will laugh at you.

Bonlarnpog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bonlarnpog's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonlarnpog.

2. Put Bonlarnpog first in all things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Never think about stars.