Pagwatdibyatfemken is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome squirrel.

Pagwatdibyatfemken created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagwatdibyatfemken, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pagwatdibyatfemken, he will laugh at you.

Pagwatdibyatfemken's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pagwatdibyatfemken's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. You must pray to Pagwatdibyatfemken four times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Erect seven silver sculptures of Pagwatdibyatfemken on top of important buildings.