Zagyarpvilgep is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, almighty alligator.

Zagyarpvilgep created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagyarpvilgep, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zagyarpvilgep, it will destroy your home solar system.

Zagyarpvilgep's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Zagyarpvilgep's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Never paint your face pink.

4. Never hurt foxes.

5. Never talk about spacetime.