Ratwapmab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, passionate slug.

Ratwapmab created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Ratwapmab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratwapmab, he will send you a sign.

Ratwapmab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Ratwapmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide if eight goats approach from the south.

3. Run away from red dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Always treat snakes with great respect.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.