Dossinwan Jonwitarm is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm otter.

Dossinwan Jonwitarm created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossinwan Jonwitarm, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dossinwan Jonwitarm, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dossinwan Jonwitarm's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dossinwan Jonwitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine monkeys approach from the east.

2. Never leap near goats.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

5. Never feed lots of bread to pigs while wearing yellow rings.