Gatcatrenspagfen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, capable seal.

Gatcatrenspagfen created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatcatrenspagfen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatcatrenspagfen, it will ignore you.

Gatcatrenspagfen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gatcatrenspagfen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.