Zakkikxem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witless tapir.

Zakkikxem created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakkikxem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakkikxem, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zakkikxem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Zakkikxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about dark matter near eagles while wearing red shoes and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.

5. Do not stand on grass.