Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing raccoon.

Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matfumzen Sugtafrag Gabfetbat.

4. Do not hurt snakes.

5. Never think about planets.