Hakgilkar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair wasp.

Hakgilkar created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakgilkar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakgilkar, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hakgilkar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hakgilkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never go into green rooms.