Lapfomnad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, conceited dragon.

Lapfomnad created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapfomnad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lapfomnad, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lapfomnad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lapfomnad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight pigs approach from the west.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Lapfomnad.