Jondubtad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sapient dugong.

Jondubtad created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jondubtad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jondubtad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jondubtad's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Jondubtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Jondubtad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Jondubtad must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect your elders.