Yakfetjancargetdossbep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive shrew.

Yakfetjancargetdossbep created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakfetjancargetdossbep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yakfetjancargetdossbep, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Yakfetjancargetdossbep's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yakfetjancargetdossbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Hide if eight doves approach from the north.

5. Do not drink alcohol.