Kimsandlop is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, ruthless shark.

Kimsandlop created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsandlop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kimsandlop, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kimsandlop's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Kimsandlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never bounce near hamsters.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Kimsandlop loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.