Hivlopcin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humane fish.

Hivlopcin created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivlopcin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hivlopcin, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hivlopcin's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Hivlopcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hivlopcin loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Do not listen to music.