Boptenyog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish crocodile.

Boptenyog created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Boptenyog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Boptenyog, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Boptenyog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Boptenyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs.

2. Always obey Boptenyog's priests.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing pink boots and balancing nine zinc spheres on your chest.

5. Do not kill otters.